Ten things to remember when you have a Polish girlfriend

There are an awful lot of guys out there in Poland (and elsewhere) with Polish girlfriends. It’s not always an easy thing, I know and I feel your pain. This is the definitive list of ‘things to remember’ …at least until I think of the next definitive list.

1 Her name
Bear with me, I’m not being (completely) flippant. About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia. That’s it. This can be confusing. If you can’t remember your Polish girlfriend’s first name ask her what her second name is. Everybody has a second name here. Unfortunately it’s usually just one of the above, but you might get lucky and come across a Jadwiga (if you’ll pardon the expression).

2. Women’s Day
This is one of approximately 74 occasions during the year when you are required to give a Polish girlfriend flowers. Flower-selling is an immensely profitable and stable business in Poland. There are flower sellers everywhere and, until recently, they were about the only businesses that stayed open on a Sunday. Women’s Day? It’s in April some time; look it up. I’m not even mentioning Valentine’s Day; that’s so obvious that you entirely deserve to lose a testicle if you forget it in Poland.

3. She is a a princess
Polish girls are brought up in the tradition of old-fashioned chivalry and deference to the ‘weaker sex.’ That means YOU carry the bags, open the door, mend things, make tea in the morning, escort her to the bus stop etc. When a little exasperated by this I often point out to my girlfriend that she’s being a ‘bit of a princess’ to which she usually smiles and flutters her eyelids in complete ignorance of the negative connotations of the phrase in British and American English. Oh well.

4. Walking is impossible
Part of the chivalry thing mentioned above is the expectation that whenever you are walking somewhere together she should have her arm looped through yours. Down narrow and crowded streets this makes progress painfully slow. It’s sweet, and I kind of like it sometimes, but it would be nice to walk through crowded areas in single file sometimes instead of having to go through ridiculous sideways-shuffling maneuvers, every five feet.

5. You are furniture
While trying to relax and watch a film in which hundreds of Russian troops are hosed down by panzers she will use you as a pillow / footstool / nose-scratching device. This is also kind of sweet and nice, but it can make it hard to concentrate on the body count.

6. She has a mother…
…who regards you with more than a hint of suspicion. Polish mothers of that generation are convinced that foreigners are godless, feckless, untrustworthy imps sent by satan to steal their daughters and carry them off to London / Dublin / Des Moines. In other words, they are remarkably well informed. You have two choices; get your act together and behave like a decent human being or avoid the mother like the plague. Neither is painless.

7. Your food is not your own
It’s a well known fact amongst men that women mysteriously become ravenously hungry only when you happen to have a large plate of long-anticipated chips in front of you. However, the effect does seem to be particularly pronounced among Polish women, who claim to eat almost nothing. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, order or cook more than you can possibly eat because your stick-thin Polish girlfriend will inevitably develop the appetite of a blue whale the moment her anxiously selected ‘small salad’ arrives.

8. You can kiss other women
She has female friends and it’s perfectly acceptable, in fact encouraged, for you to kiss all of them up to three times every time you see them. Exactly where you put your hands while you are doing this is a issue I have yet to resolve successfully. Still, it’s an up side.

9. She’s smarter than you are
The Polish education system is a marvel and good education is respected above almost everything else here. Chances are that your Polish girlfriend not only speaks English, German, and Russian (how many languages do you speak) but also has a pretty good grasp of a lot of things that you slept through at school. You’re only hope is to pretend that such things ‘aren’t considered important in Western culture’ and shrug until she buys it.

10. …uh oh
I’ve forgotten the last one! I’m in big trouble.

If you enjoyed this post why not visit my personal blog Wyspianski Unwinding
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106 thoughts on “Ten things to remember when you have a Polish girlfriend

  1. Raf Uzar says:

    Brilliant! Certainly agree. :-)

  2. darthsida says:

    Once said ‘you’re a bit of a princess’ myself and heard ‘why only a bit?!’.

  3. Magda/ Ola/ Dorota/ Kasia says:

    W imieniu wszystkich polskich kobiet chcę tylko przypomnieć, że Dzień Kobiet jest w marcu, a nie w kwietniu! 8- go marca dokładnie.

    Radzę zapamiętać! :)

  4. Magda/ Ola/ Dorota/ Kasia says:

    I jeszcze jedno – Imieniny! Trzeba pamiętać o imieninach! :)

  5. island1 says:

    Magda / Ola / Dorota / Kasia (and “a little bit of Monica in my life”)

    Good points!

    Women’s Day is 8th of March and not in April. Phew that was a close one!

    Ah yes, name’s days (imieniny). That’s one of the 74 occasions on which flowers are expected.

  6. wiosanna says:

    Response from Polish girl, don’t take that too serious
    I can’t agree at all points.
    1. But ok, my name is Magda, my mother first wanted to name me Kasia, but second name is Halina.
    2. I’m sure there less occasions for giving flowers and flowers are the nicest when they aren’t expected. Women’s day is 8th of March.
    3. Yes, we like be called princess, maybe sometimes it’s to much, but don’t you agree that the little bit of old-fashioned chivalry is nice. I read few times that is something foreign women appreciate in Polish man.
    4. You get used to it ;) Sometimes it’s much easier not to lose your girlfriend that way.
    5. Is it really so important how many bodies where there? And only Polish women do it?
    6. Mothers are strange even if you are Polish, even if you are a girlfriend, there is always some kind of problem ;)
    7. Eating a little from my boyfriends plate – of course. Eating only a salad – no way. My boyfriend usually eats my food, so the sex doesn’t matters.
    8. It depends on a woman. I don’t kiss my friends. You can try to put your arms on her shoulders, maybe that will work?
    9. So that’s why people in Poland thinks that western education system is so bad and people aren’t so broad-mined, because of all men that were sleeping instead of learning.

  7. island1 says:

    Wiosanna: Thanks for the amusing comments :)

    Somehow this got entered under a different post, so I’ve moved it here.

    8th of March! See, this is why we need a list!

    Have a look at this post from a British woman living in Poland (soon to join us on this site) on the subject of Polish chivalry:


  8. wiosanna says:

    That’s great post, I also hate this coat-holding thing, only my uncle does it, my friends fortunately don’t.
    Thanks for moving my comment, I don’t know what had happened with it.

  9. kung fu karate miszcz says:

    I wonder if these points apply to wives too?

  10. island1 says:

    Kung fu: One would assume so. If there are any Polish wives out there they can let us know :)

  11. darthsida says:

    After some observations of a few Polish wives near me:
    1. Not at all. (They didn’t change names after marriage though. I guess they want to confuse me by not being Kasias.)
    2. Not at all. The least-expected flower is best-timed. (However. Marriage anniversaries. Important to remember if YOU are likely to forget about them and she’s not. Doesn’t work the other sex round. Anniversary presents usually clean up your oblivion-derived mess.)
    3. Not at all. She’s turns into a housewife, though she doesn’t want to. The prince charming has to change into the money access provider, cause she expects him to. If you’re both lucky you have a set of warm recollections of / from long time ago when you were royal.
    4. Yup. (The next stage being — you don’t have to offer her your arm. In fact you’ll be expected to let her go (shopping for an hour or five). When walking column-wise in dire-straits of a crowdy street, remember to walk behind her. Her walking behind you makes her feel like a slave wife to an Arab and / or a camel. (Which is bad.) If her figure’s not changed much – you may actually enjoy the order. If her figure’s changed much, you can enjoy other figures and the wife can’t notice a thing.)
    5. Yup. (But you can develop a rock-hard abdomen instead of beer paunch, and sleeping on hard is hard, so to speak.)
    6. No. You’ve already stolen her daughter. Now you have to pay back.
    7. Yup. (But only if she’s on a diet. Which is quite always.)
    8. Yup, you can. (But only on cheeks. Older and older. Octogenerian aunts or cousinettes, not exactly what you’d have in mind. In mind? Well, place.)
    9. Yes. No. (Mileage may vary. Also see below.)
    10. You gotta tell her she’s loved, lovable, lovish, lovender, lovetaking, luvsome, loveful, loverend, lovely, lovicious, luvva-luvva etc. When speaking English, you are expected to [over]stress the phonetic difference between “love” and “laugh” or -memes forbid- “loath”. “I leave you” instead of “I luv you” can be disastrous too. (You don’t have to believe any of those words, in fact, lots of them don’t exist: it’s her hearing your compliments that matters, not your believing them. However, you have to sound convincing. If you answer to 9 above is “no”, you’ll know how to lie. If she sees you’re a liar, your answer to 9 above is “yes”.)
    11. There’s always some 11.

  12. Glenn Standish says:

    This is brilliant! So funny…and yet soooooooo true!!! ;-)

  13. Nev Evans says:

    In reference to the ‘only a bit of a princess’ comment…

    They have a heightened awareness to every single word you say:

    Me: “Your new haircut looks really nice actually”
    Her: “What does ‘actually’ mean?!”

    Plan your compliments in advance!

  14. island1 says:

    Glenn: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I see you are a fellow ‘sufferer.’

  15. island1 says:

    Nev: Now we’re wondering into the territory of women-in-general methinks. However; true, very true :)

  16. Jarek A. says:

    Very nice piece of writing. You sure have a light pen (keyboard), as we say in Poland :)

    You’ve managed to sneak some sarcasm into the text, and it’s obvious that the post as a whole should not be taken too seriously.

    You forgot to mention though, that when kissing “other” women, you’re only allowed to kiss them on the cheeks (face ;) ).

  17. island1 says:

    Jarek: Thanks for the kind words. Of course, if you’re a foreigner, it’s always possible to ‘accidentally’ get the kissing location wrong… although it would be a bit obvious if you went for the wrong kind of cheek.

  18. Jarek A. says:

    Sometimes it could be worth a shot, though, methinks ;)

  19. […] Ten things to remember when you have a Polish girlfriend About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia. That’s it. […]

  20. […] career set off in Berlin. Fathered Polish national opera. — It was, uh, blasphemised calculated there are 5 female names in Poland. The title of one Moniuszko’s highlit opera is Halka. […]

  21. Michał Borsuk says:

    “Polish girls are brought up in the tradition of old-fashioned chivalry and deference to the ‘weaker sex.’ That means YOU carry the bags, open the door, mend things, make tea in the morning, escort her to the bus stop etc.”

    I’m so happy I married a Canadian :P I don’t have to carry all the bags!

  22. Anonymous says:

    I’m Marta! :D But I even call my boyfriend “a Pillow”, so there’s some truth in what you write ;)

  23. island1 says:

    Anonymous Marta: I’m thinking of starting a pillows anonymous mutual support group.

  24. Anonymous says:

    i have a polish girl friend , i agree with what u said except points 8 and 9. she said that if i touch a girl she will cut my (….) and the polish education is not that good , most of polish barely speak english .

  25. Anonymous says:

    2. She might be pleased if you give her a flower on Women’s Day, or she might stab you in the eye with a pencil and call you a commie.

    8. You never ever kiss another woman on the cheek. You protest vehemently that in your culture that’s scandalous alien behaviour, but you’re prepared to wink shyly and respectfully fondle her closest friends’ breasts. And her mother’s if you’ve smoked a few.

  26. evita_duarte says:

    I laughed at it so much, It’s true in most parts and woman’s day is March 8 :)

  27. island1 says:

    evita: I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thank god you told me the date… I still have a few months to prepare.

  28. Margot says:

    This is the most hilarious note you’ve written here! The worst thing is that it’s all true… I’m a woman who prefers carrying her bags herself, is familiar with hammer and screwdriver, likes eating (and drinking, whoa!) as much as men do – and guess what? I keep hearing from my female friends, mother and other female relatives that it’s very stupid of me, that when I’m acting like this my partner ‘doesn’t have an occasion to feel like a real man’. Also, my male friends always considered me as weird and non-femine. In Ireland (where I live now) girls are tough and strong and no one tells them that they’d almost become men.

  29. island1 says:

    Margot: Good luck to you, don’t let anyone tell you what you should be.

  30. karolina says:

    Well, I can tell somebody had a hard time here :> This is a bullshit. Every woman is different. Just like every guy. And this whole story about how bad your silly polish, weird girlfriend is – was written by someone who is a jerk. If you dont like something about different culture than simply stay at home and breed with people with the same nationality. I was wondering, someone forced you to date polish girl??? Besides, I feel sorry for you hahahahaha if you know only Kasias and Anias than it means-> 1- it’s too hard to remember rest of the names or – you are not smart enough to get to know more girls hahahahaha LOL But you know, i’m thinking …maybe its even better Cause you can share your “name” knowledge with your friends, and practise in bars – maybe this way they will be able to prounance them right. since i’ve been in england british guys cant even spell my name right, because of course Karolina and Caroline are completely different names LOL :> Pathetic!
    Please make yourself a favour and forgot about being smart for some time. And really, it seems like you dont get what being with someone means. Gew up!

  31. island1 says:

    karolina: You might want to sit down, I have shocking news for you. We’ve performed all the medical tests and looked at the X-rays and I’m afraid to have to tell you that… you don’t have a sense of humour.

  32. Anonymous says:

    what karolina wants to say is that you don’t really respect polish girls.

  33. Steven Woodruff says:

    One time I made the mistake of asking my Polish wife if Womens day wasn’t a communist holiday, therefore was is not my duty as an American to ignore such things?…. oh boy big mistake and Karolina yes I was forced to both date and marry a Polish girl.

  34. […] to the, er, shall we say interested and invested nature of Polish families, parents too. Then this post made me laugh: Ten Things to Remember when you Have a Polish Girlfriend. (Note No. […]

  35. monica says:

    ahhh.it’s great you write funny thing but please please please, if you’re gonna be publishing articles- learn your grammar first!!!!! “second name” in english stands for “surname”- you wanted to say “middle name”. Also, it annoys the hell out of me when people misspell “loose”!!!! it’s retarded!!! these two words have utterly different meanings! so please PLEASE- if you’re publishing- have it proof-read!!!!

  36. island1 says:

    Monica: Thanks for pointing out the typo ‘loose’. No thanks at all for being such as prig about it. Only a Pole, and I’m assuming you are a Pole, could manage this level of arrogance over a typo. How about this: in future why not try assuming the people you are addressing are human beings and, therefore, entitled to the same level of respect that you yourself might enjoy. You’ll find it makes the world a sweeter place.

  37. Kasia Urbaniak-Tooley says:

    Your post cracked me up! I loved it & thought I would give it to have a look to my partner, who, funnily enough, was absolutely delighted with it & on top of that said it is so true! Spot on!

  38. Kasia Urbaniak-Tooley says:

    Steven: Well done you!
    Monica: my word, how about taking it nice & easy? & it’s not like the text was published in “Rzeczpospolita” or its kind.
    karolina: seems to me someone is having some serious minority complex issues. no offence, sweetpie, but take it all with a pinch of salt & don’t get so agitated!

    Again many thanks for the post! x

  39. island1 says:

    Kasia U-T: Thanks very much for the nice words. Tell your partner we have a support group for people with Polish girlfriends, sometimes we need all the help we can get. Interesting surname by the way, do I detect a Polish-English or Polish-Irish connection?

  40. SusieG. says:

    Brillaint. Bardzo dobrze opisane, sama siebie zrozumialam przez to! My Irish boyfrined will find that relieving :)

  41. Kasia says:

    The whole article is funny and true BUUT… I don’t want to sound pretentious but how ironic is it that in number 9 you say ” You’re only hope is….”. YOUR lol. “How many languages do YOU speak?;)” Hope you’re not offended;)

  42. Kasia says:

    Just read all the other comments. And I really hope my reply is not associated with the likes of Monica ;) its probably a typo or an autocorrect or just an honest mistake. Nobody speaks any language perfectly. I bet i can come up with some questions about Polish language that Monica would not answer;)

  43. Pszczoła says:

    Omg! What’s all that fuss about? If being with Polish girlfriend is such a chore, just change her and stop whining :P

  44. Anna, of course. says:

    you can kiss them, but only on the cheeks! as for arms… I would recommend a bear hug :)
    as for languages most people in poland speak English, although not that well, and basics of the second language (usu german, french or russian). as point 10 I would say that she can pronounce everything, including “chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie w szczebrzeszynie” and “grzegorz brzęczyszczykiewicz”… and you can’t say the first word.

  45. pervie says:

    ” The Polish education system is a marvel and good
    education is respected above almost everything else here.” Wow. Are we talking about the same country? O_O I actually thought this was irony, but the rest was pretty serious so I’m confused.

  46. Tomasz says:

    Dude Women’s day is on 8th of March if you want your balls attached to your body better remamber that,

  47. Casciolina says:

    My two cents (from a polish wife of italian guy perspective): 1. Well, my name is Kasia ;) but I also have the second one, Ewa and the third, Gabriela. The worst thing is that italians can’t tell the difference between “si” and “sz”, so they actually call me “kasza”… 2. Italians also celebrate women’s day, but I don’t expect flowers for this or any other occasion, cause I know they cost a lot here. If I want flowers I buy them myself. 3. Of course I am a princess! ;) you know Benigni’s “La vita è bella”? he was calling his beloved “mia principessa” and I find it extremely sweet and appropriate. We love those who make us feel like we’re princesses. 4. Just holding hands is perfectly fine. Otherwise after a while it starts to get uncomfortable 5. Oh yes, my husband is my favorite footstool. 6. My mom is the best mother-in-law ever! only sometimes she calls strangers pagans ;) 7. We usually order two different things, eat half of it and then switch plates. Your food is my food, AND vice versa. 8. No problem with that, until it’s cheeks-kissing. In Italy: twice, in Poland: one or three times, that must be confusing… 9. I wouldn’t marry someone who isn’t at least as smart as I am, so work on that if you want the girlfriend to become your wife one day ;) 10. You HAVE TO learn polish! and THIS is a big trouble!

  48. Casciolina says:

    Btw, there’s another typo: number 9, “you’re only hope is…”

  49. rachwald says:

    ‘Your’, ‘You’re’
    learn the difference

  50. This is fantastic! I love that post and I think that every foreigner dating a polish girl should read it just to know he is not alone struggling with the princess :D

  51. Anonymous says:

    that was so funny!
    Now: I have one name only and you will be surprised! My name is Sylwia :P.
    I truly agree only with point no 9. Yes, we are well educated.
    and … maybe your girfriend diraves from … a royal family!
    Saludos ;)

  52. Anna-Maria says:

    Well, i think that most of this is actually true, but some are very, very popular and normal in another countries too ;) for ex. “Being a ferniture” :)
    And another thing is, “kissing another girls” -is normal in france for example, but (like in poland) in their chicks! What you didnt mention and its quite important :D

  53. Monika says:

    So funny and accurate! Well done :)

  54. This made me laugh hard, some points are a lot more true then others but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s funny. Good one!

  55. your* only hope! (yes, I’m Polish. Since you said we were smart, I will feel free to act like a Grammar Nazi from now on). I wouldn’t fully agree with some of these points, but well, it was supposed to be funny, not100% accurate. Good job!

  56. Edyta says:

    I feel like I’m the only Polish kobieta that doesn’t like getting flowers, gets offended if called a princess, and orders normal portioned food because I’m always hungry and have no shame showing that I can eat a lot.

    I am more into sports than my husband and never expect him to carry my bags, God gave me two functional arms for a reason.

    He likes being chivalrous so I stopped complaining when he wants to open the door for me, etc.

    Sounds like from the comments that I am apparently mostly the exception to these rules.

  57. visuality says:

    I don’t mind being called ‘bit of a princess’. My mother brought me up like that and I even got that “habit” of stoping before the entrance and waiting for the man to open the door for me. Guys I date don’t mind me doing that and they all are gentelmens. Every girl is a princess and deserves such treatment. I have never considered it a “polish thing” :)

  58. lysaczi says:

    “You’re only hope” that goes well with the point about education

  59. Aurelia says:

    Very good! But I’d add one more thing: in Poland, you have to ask somebody three times before you get the truth out. Like: “do you want the last cookie?” “no” “are you sure?” “yep” “very sure?” “no, I want the last cookie :(“. My boyfriend hates it, cause if he doesn’t give me the cookie, I’m sulky for the rest of the day. It’s applicable not only to women, of course. It’s simply polite to refuse kind offers in Poland, don’t ask me why. What a twisted logic!

  60. Anonymous says:

    Good job mate, love it

  61. Kasia Basia czy jakos tak says:

    quite a load of crap in my opinion, i can only agree with the polish mother part, all the rest is about just one kind of woman, and not necessarily a polish one. no offence but if you have a girlfriend who happens to be polish don’t put every single woman from that country in a bag labelled ‘polish’,they’re not like that at all. honestly it sounds more like a description of an english woman to me actually, all selfish and shortsighted. and where did you get that kissing with other women from lol it’s like 1 000 000% not true :) p.s. i don’t have middle name. good luck for both of you ;)

  62. Bob says:

    10: Foch

  63. Ewa says:

    You are right…we are better educated than you, but it’s easy to see from this list of 10 facts that can be said about any woman from any country and of any race.

    But one thing you didn’t mention that is very true about us…we are Polish and we are proud of it. Wherever we are, whatever we do, we know where we come from and who we are.

    Women are just that…a million shades of all colours of the rainbow. Don’t generalize us.


  64. Eli says:

    For me sounds like a ten reason NOT TO HAVE a polish girlfriend.

  65. guest says:


  66. GiudaV says:

    Nice piece of writing, kept one foot below perfection by having forgotten the immensely popular name Gosia alongside the mentioned Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, and Kasia. Because of this one fourth of Polish women (my estimate) now hate you.

  67. Iza says:

    This is bullshit. I was hoping for some better points made-and funny. But it’s simply immature and mostly incorrect. The only thing I could agree with is #9. Everything else could apply to any girl in the world. Woman’s day is in March. Flowers are expected by everyone, because Polish celebrate name days which are endless. Sorry, written by an amateur who probably has gone out with a Polish girl – and no other, for a week or so and feels knows it all. Amen.

  68. xayide says:

    Woman’s Day is March 8. You had better not forget it, or give her a flower on April 1st – or she will think it’s (you’re) a joke :)))

  69. Anonymous says:

    Sweet Jesus, the level of butthurt in these comments is so delicious. Some people just can’t understand irony, eh.

    Thanks for this wonderful text, I laughed my ass off. It is SO true. I am sorta different than most Polish girls, as I just hate receiving flowers and forget about the Women’s or Valentine’s Day (which in turn is something that my hubby cannot comprehend). I can however easily imagine my friends making a big fuss about not getting flowers on March 8th. Same goes for being forgotten on their name day, which still seems to be a really bizzare excuse to throw a bigass party.

    I’d like to add something to these well-made points: when you are introduced to an elderly Polish woman, it would be considered a gesture of courtesy and politeness if you kissed her hand. Please bear that in mind when your girlfriend wants you to meet her aunts and grandmas. You may make an excellent first impression :)

  70. Yana says:

    Nooo, that’s not me at all apart from my first name being Anna, but I must say that, statistically, you may be right :) I really don’t care about Valentine’s Day or Women’s Day, only my birthday is important and I do expect flowers then. The chivalry thing – I never liked it at all, I’m not a cute weak princess and I’m quite relieved my American boyfriend is not playing the knight in a shining armour. That would feel so, so awkward. On the other hand, I expect him to be able to do many things considered to be the womenfolk’s work, in Poland at least… Also, I’m never on a diet :P, my mother is not a dangerous alien being and I’m not a fan of my man kissing other women. Well, maybe one kiss on a cheek would be accepted… Anyway, that actually is a good description of an “average” Polish girlfriend – I know many women like that :) There is also another type – an almighty, powerful woman of Silesia, wielding a rolling pin. Now… she is to be feared ;)

  71. jpacklin says:

    I live in Hawaii and I married a Polish girl and wow you are DEAD ON. i find the irony of the misuse of “you’re” in number 9 hilarious :). It’s eerie how well you nailed every one these, I can confirm through personal experience all of the above!

  72. jpacklin says:

    Oh and in regards to some earlier comments buy people without senses of humor … having been to Poland multiple times, I can confirm that damn near every girl is name Anna or Kasia. Sorry hun.

  73. Anna says:

    Island1 You are so so funny, regards from Anna ( ;p )

  74. Anonymous says:

    Well done.

  75. Pao says:

    love it hahahahaha

  76. Anonymous says:

    Your* only hope…

  77. Agnes says:

    Well I do hope your girlfirend is smarter than you. It’s ‘your only hope is’ not ‘you’re only hope is’… duh.

  78. I really like the way you’ve underlined western education system’s issues by making spelling mistake in point 9 (you’re) :)

  79. Anonymous says:

    Please can you write about some english girls who are sooo fat and looks like pigs? :)

  80. Teji Puri says:

    Totally spot on, simply brilliant

  81. Anonymous says:

    All of it is sooooo true :) We can’t stop laughing at: walkibg is impossible, you’re furniture etc.. Now he calls himself a nose scratching device loool. But it shows huuuge cultural difference and difference in thinking and possible communication problems, as for me something can be obvious and I assume it is but for my bf not really :)
    Great text though

  82. Żaneta says:

    My name is Żaneta Do i guess its more original name for you :) I like your post but in my case i cant be agree. I ll never want to hear that im princess :) My mother is more modern than i could expect and she ll never have a problem if im with other countries guy..actully im :) and womens day …yes i always remember about that day but i ll be not mad at all if my boyfriend didnt especially if he is not polish. Dont need to care my bags too maybe just in the case if my hands are not enough. and about food i can try just one small bite but thats it..i have my own :) But i enjoy to read this, i can belive there are some polish girls like that maybe even 50% but if u can see by me not all of us. aaa and btw i havent second name :)

  83. […] que… y no he querido quedarme atrás. Así que voy a traducir y adaptar un poco a mis ideas esta lista que he encontrado sobre las cosas que debes […]

  84. david says:

    Absolute idiotic drivel written by a polish idiot

    …truth is every guy that dates or marrys a polish girl says the same thing : polish girls are ruthless mean money hungry career machines who treat their men badly ! ….and they get even worse once you marry them …there is a reason the Polish economy got in such a state, the FEMALES WERE NOT LOOKING AFTER THE MEN PROPERLY ..polish girls are selfish catholic hippocrate spoilt brats who come to the UK for one thing – MONEY

  85. Agnieszka says:

    Pretty accurate, although as a polish girl I am quite suprised with that “you carry all the bags” point. I don’t mean handbags of course, but if someone carries many heavy bags I would consider it only natural and polite to help them, not only when it comes to relationships. When my mum, dad,grandmother or neigbour is mounting the stairs with many bags I consider this obvious that some help would be appreciated, even though I am a girl. So naturally when we do the shopping, I don’t give my boyfriend ALL the bags, but well, I’m not a weight-lifter and I certainly expect him to help me and take the heavier ones. When there aren’t many of them he takes them all, he’s after all stronger than me. Having read this point I imagined having a foreign boyfriend and having to carry all those heavy groceries alone.And I didn’t like that vison too much, however I assume you help women with the heavy ones, just don’t take all of the bags?

  86. English Guy says:

    Fantastic and helpful list. I’ve just started dating a polish lady and she is absolutely amazing! (He says with a big smile on his face). She is very sweet, kind, caring, helpful, INCREDIBLY witty and sharp, hilarious, fun, relaxed…. and the list goes on!!!

    On a few occasions I have had to ask her to stop asking me if I want anything – never in my life have I had to! Not that I’m complaining btw. But her generosity and caring nature has really rubbed off on me.

    And in response to ‘Point 3, She is a princess’… yup! Although I don’t think she is entirely, I have certainly spoilt her so far. I’ve cooked for her, I’ve given her lots of massages (at times I just can’t help but rub her back or stroke/caress her). I used an online translator to learn the word for ‘princess’ (księżniczka). I learnt how to say it (or as best as I could) and one night after making her laugh so hard that she started crying, I said it! She was pretty shocked but amazed at what I said! We had a very good night together after that!

    In response to ‘Point 4, Walking is impossible’… I’ve not experienced any narrow paths or alleyways yet but (other than the first 4 dates where we were still getting to know each other, etc…) I’m yet to walk anyway with her where she hasn’t got a hold of me or is linking arms or holding hands or similar. Its fantastic! XD

    In response to ‘Point 5, You are furniture’… Yup! Although she does ask if I want to hug into her (if she is sitting at the end of the couch)… to which my response is to kiss her and ask her to hug into me (she, of course, begrudgingly accepts :P). I really like this coz she gets hug into me, I do get to hug her (and I usually stroke her back or hair) and… yeah its pretty great!

    Overall, she is just simply amazing and everything is easy. First and foremost we have so much fun! Whether its doing something together or just talking together, its hilarious…always! I keep forgetting that she is 100% the most beautiful, attractive girl I have ever been with! I keep forgetting that because she is just so much fun!

    Complete over share, I know! Apologies… but I guess I’m feeling pretty lucky!

    Oh, something else for your list…

    Always remember to be a gentleman and that you are serious about spending time with her. Prove that you’re not a dick or just going to waste her time.

  87. Joanna says:

    Well , good points. Love the one about princess. My husband and me have name for me Polish American f…… Princess. This is joke between us. When it comes to food, he makes jokes about me eating. No matter how much on the plate I always, always leave a little bit saying I can’t eat no more, I will blow. That’s why Proncess. He always drinks my tea, saying it’s better than his. ( why is that I don’t know, I make both of the cups). My Mom loved him, she talk to him, had a drink with him, again loved him. I was jelous. She passed away. My name in short is Asia, from Joanna. So there you go. March is the month of Polish woman day. Don’t forget in June kids day. That’s another holiday but for kids, so be nice to them. We don’t have Turkey , so no holiday for polish. We love our grandmothers, they were taking care of us when our mothers worked. There is lots of family and we keep in contact. I probably forgot something but that’s all folks.

  88. Federico says:

    wow.. it is like late to say any thing. firs I want to say that I highly enjoy the article , it was fun but most of all enriching and for me a reminder, as I do have beautiful polish friends, Haven’t been lucky to date one but truly I wish all that was true and that I could find a woman like that, Polish or not.

  89. Federico says:

    yea bi the way I can tell you about english girls.. the are an absolute pain in the arrss … respect nothing, feminist,they are all “queens” , men are just a little less than a dog to them … if you are not british I recommend you avoid dating one, she is gonna make you loose your mind, there is possibly no more manipulative people in the planet. I dont understand how british men do tolerate their women…

  90. Anonymous says:

    You are in trouble … you don’t know when the Women’s Day is celebrated … in April? really? or you are trying to get other guys in trouble …. IT IS ON MARCH 8th !!!

  91. Magda says:

    whoever wrote this … who are you trying to get in trouble … Women’s Day in on March 8 … not in April!

  92. Jonathan Warner says:

    Absolutely nailed it. I’ve had a number of Polish girlfriends and can see their traits in all of your comments. They’re all princesses in a good way. Some more than others but I tried to avoid them.

  93. K says:

    I can’t believe this post, is it made to complaint about Polish Women? Have you ever been in the USA? Have you ever met those monsters.. emh women? I’ve met many Polish girls and they are lovely and beautiful with 0% body fat. Treating them with chivalry is such a natural thing you can’t longer do in the USA where it is confusing, where they wont like it or treat you as weak for doing so, etc. Plus the attention those fat American cows get from men is out of this world. You’re lucky to be dating Polish women, if you don’t think that way then go to America and try your luck.

  94. Papapapa says:

    I’m Polish and I love this post:) Totally funny and partially true!;) Well done!

  95. Anna Jadwiga says:

    How could you forget IMIENINY!

  96. Anna Jadwiga says:

    10. IMIENINY?!?!

  97. How dare you call English girls fat pigs
    If it was not for them you wood all still be plucking chickens and milking cows

  98. Andrew says:

    I certainly agree with everything which is written above… I also have a Polish girlfiriend, she is amazing! She is beautiful, smart and she cares about me so much! We’ve met on one website which is e-polishwife.com there you can find a lot of offers of polish girls who are looking for foreign man ;) It’s a great solution for someone who is still looking for a big love. I’ve found my sweet Kasia there, you should try as well!

  99. Davson says:

    I don’t agree with the step 9 I know a lots of polish people in Dublin so they don’t speak even English well.My wife is polish I cook better than her.her mother loves me.

  100. Anna says:

    That’s not entirely true. You must have been with a weirdo

  101. Anonymous says:

    completely wrong

  102. Justyna says:

    I’m Polish and I cannot agree with any of those points, none of above apply to me! it looks like Island 1 was dumped or rejected by Polish girl and he’s just trying to build his Ego back by saying ‘it wasn’t me it was her fault!’

  103. Natalia says:

    Hilarious! Yes she would have taken the ‘princess’ comment as a massive compliment and made a mental note to keep up the good work! Ha ha! Great piece! :)

  104. Gosia says:

    Island1 I love your sense of humour and that bit of irony all was so true 😂😂😂 To all polish girls commenting the article Don’t be so f. ..serious F.. all that grammatical rules Who cares

  105. Jo says:

    Since you mentioned Women’s Day you should do research for article purpose don’t you? It’s March 8th 😉👍🏼

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