Sports that make Polish people angry

White men can’t dunk. White men can’t jump. Some of the white race can race, take the front man here, but facing the facts: It’s ebony that rules, not ivory.

Said that, let’s stay with the Caucasian crowd. [By the way, if the race gets sited in the Caucasus, then Poland seems in Northern Europe to me.]

Question: Why can’t Poland stand out from the sportscrowd? Stand firm and winning for a time long enough to make any discipline look our national major?

Well, one possibility would be: The Polish nation is inferior. But as we’ve had racism here already, let’s try: Polish sport education sucks. There are promising youngsters in all disciplines, who get badly trained, who then go abroad where they don’t suck (re-trained), or they stay home and walk away from any fulfilment of the promise. (True, walk is one Polish major. I meant, one Pole’s major.)

There is the third group: sportsmen I call supernovas: the gifted — with achievements despite their education. Whenever, by strange twists of fate, a supernova shines for more than a season, we can expect a new national thrilldom. Whenever there are more than three supernovas in one discipline at the same time — we call it: the Polish school of that given discipline.

The Polish school of boxing, for example. School? Feliks Stamm could have been an ace coach had he left any “how to” book. Unfortunately, one of his opinions was “coaching can’t be taught”. The wisdom of another coach, Kazimierz Górski is often quoted, including:

— Every game you can win, or lose, or draw.
The ball is round and there are two goals.

Well, if you can’t pass on your knowledge to any next generation, why you call yourself a coach? Or don’t I have a clue what the coaching’s about? Well, how could I? Stamm did his job 50 years ago, Górski: 30 years ago, that time I don’t remember.

Those were the grim times of PRL, life was grey, and people needed be appreciated. But much of the inferiority complex has survived till today, I’d say. What hardly dies in the die-hard fan is his (her? – not frequently) desire to un-grey their life. Poles still need much applause – and if they can’t get it personally, they nominate proxies. We barrack for our supernovas and steal some luminosity. It’s not about enjoying a game, it’s substitute war waging. It’s the “we’ll show them” attitude. Remember Alamo. We mean, Monte Cassino. We’re proud to be Polish. And the end justifies the “we”. “We” may include an adopted / adapted (?) Pole. (See Olisadebe. But only after he starts scoring for Poland.) “We” may include a non-Pole. (See Beenhakker. But only after he proves worthy.)

Where no supernovas show up in time, there are other ways to prove we’re world’s top badasses. There are football wars, for instance. (It’s better when warring hooligans are just imbeciles. It’s worse when they’re criminals. So says not me. So say the elderly gentlemen of the old and true school of fans – who’d take their grandsons to the grandstands, but can’t expose their grandprogeny to swearese, brutalese, chaos. Yes, you may get stabbed or clubbed for showing wrong FC’s colours on your scarf.)

The non-football fan is lazier, or busier, or just had less testosterone for breakfast. But the complex is there, nevertheless. So, the fan is likely to change disciplines, when supernovas show up in unexpected places. Stay vigilant: What should I do now, when Małysz is not as high and far as he used to? — Bet my love on Domachowska or Radwańska? — Is it time to start being keen on swimming? — Let’s adore race driving? — Any new table tennis players? — Is it fencing or foil fencing that I love now?

Tired, the fan is likely to take a rest, diving in memories of many Polish victories. Indeed, Poland has always been victorious, it’s just that some our victories need adjectives:

POLISH IMMIGRANT VICTORY: When non-Poles score for Poland, they’re Polish.

POLISH EMIGRANT VICTORY. Example: You think Germany beat us in 2006? No way! Podolski and Klose won — and they are Polish, only in one subtler way.

MORAL VICTORY: Example: You think West Germany beat us in 1974? No way! We were (morally) victorious, forced to play in a pond of mud.

FUTURE VICTORY: Example: You think Germany will beat us in 2008? No way!

PAST VICTORY: Ages ago, long enough for fan(atics) only to remember. Example: Tomaszewski, the Man That Stopped England:

DENIED VICTORY: referees were bribed, referees were blind, referees were German, or Russian, our anthem was played out of tune, the crowd whistled and booed, the wind was too strong, the wind was too weak, the grass was slippery, the grass was green, an offside position, where’s the yellow card, where’s the red card, we were tired, we were served bad food the night before, shoelaces were too loose, boots were too light, legs were too left, the opponents didn’t play fair, they didn’t play like they’re supposed to, and so on, and so on. Yet, had everything been like it should have, we would have won. So, we would win. So, we won, actually.

USELESS VICTORY: to be covered in the next episode.

Stay tuned.



If you wanna pick a duel, I’m here, too.

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20 thoughts on “Sports that make Polish people angry

  1. guest says:

    sports is about money and doping. If you do not have it ,you have no chance.

  2. darthsida says:

    Too true to be all true. What would you need a coach for then? Were some African village-born gems of barefoot running all on dopes or in the dough? And what kind of funds do you need to become a chess / bridge / drafts / darts / snooker / curling world champion?

  3. guest says:

    I talk about “olympic disciplines” and not about chess.

    And of course coaches are important…..,but ? ….they cost money ;)

  4. darthsida says:

    Actualy, Poles have or used to have good bridge players, but the reason why there’s no bridgemania has been that the discipline’s not too, hm, war-like.

    I was talking sports -in general- to show money / dope can’t be all, otherwise Poles would rule where much money / dope can’t be required. But, olympics, alright: any decades-long school of Polish judo? Of Polish badminton? Never heard of.

  5. guest says:

    So you expect Poland to rule the world all the time in every sports discipline… ? am I right lol ?
    Do you know how many potential sponsors are in post communist Poland (with no private capital tradition) and in Germany ,USA or France for example ? lol

    For a country like Poland (with only 5-10 potential big sponsors…J&S, LOTOS ,LOTTO, PROKOM ,TYSKIE…) ,the Poles are not that bad as a sports nation….

    Volleyball vice-worldchampions
    Handball vice-worldchampions
    Swimming (gold medals ,olympic and world records)
    F1-Kubica top 6
    soccer (many great players in the past ,and right now quite OK)
    tour de france (Zenon jaskula ,Lech Pasecki)
    ski jumping (malysz ,fortuna ,fijas)
    ski downhill (Dorota tlalka ,malgorzata tlalka)
    Boxing (Michalczewski ,Golota ,Adamek , and many others)
    259 olimpic medalists (running ,jumping ,fencing ,weightlifting ,boxing and so on)

    and of course ….

    where the Poles are considered as the best…. ;)


    As you can see Poland is not that bad as a sports country….

  6. guest says:

    And do not forget one thing. Poland is not a multicultural country and
    Poland can not take jamaican runners , surinam soccer players ,greek weightlifters ,polish skijumpers and chinese figure skaters to olympia…like France ,Holland ,Germany ,Italy ,Australia and of course the USA. That’s why Poland as a “nordic” european nation will never rule in every sports dicipline because you can not teach “genetics”.

  7. darthsida says:

    Fijas, bronze in 1979 the best he scored
    Fortuna, one-time wonder, gold medal in 1972 (by the skin of his teeth).
    Malysz, last years champ and what? Where are his predecessors, or more important, his successors?

    And so on, and so on, each discipline.

    I don’t want a patchwork of individuals for ANY sport, those second or third or fourth runners-up, once-in-a-lifetime medalists, moral victors, almost victors, random victors. I’d like Poland to have one, I repeat ONE discipline, in which we’d rule for a long time. (Which would prove the efficiency of our coaching system, extending beyond the single-generation model.)

    PS Eight-thousanders? Hey, will all due respect for the efforts, aren’t prices lower in winter? That being the main reason why richer nationals didn’t bother where Poles could afford? Huh.

  8. guest says:

    1. I’d like Poland to have one, I repeat ONE discipline, in which we’d rule for a long time.

    Only small countries concentrate on one or two sports disciplines. For a country like Poland it is important to compete in all disciplines and not only in…

    ski downhill-austria
    ice skating-holland
    cricket-india (yes i know that india is big)

    and so on.

    And if you want a discipline where poles ruled look at

    2. PS Eight-thousanders? Hey, will all due respect for the efforts, aren’t prices lower in winter? That being the main reason why richer nationals didn’t bother where Poles could afford? Huh.

    read something about polish climbers before you start to make such a *** comment….

  9. guest says:

    ps: Brasil rules of course in football too.

  10. darthsida says:

    Re: sports

    You make an interesting but clearly absurd point. As Greece can have her national discipline (weightlifting, you say), Poland should have 3-4 national disciplines, given the population. Otherwise, Poland sucks 3-4 as much as Greece should suck, had she no national discipline at all.

    I’d like to remind you that Brasil (of volleyball and football) is much bigger and more populated than Poland. Or take Japan, and its national discipline of judo. (To become a judo master you need a judogi, an obi, years of will, and a good coach. No money, no dope.)

    Re: 8.000-ers

    What does “a ***” mean?

    If you can read Polish, read what’s in one of the first Google hits I’ve just received: “Dlaczego akurat Polacy zapoczątkowali zdobywanie zimą najwyższych szczytów świata? Może dlatego, że w dekadzie 1950-1960, kiedy atakowano dziewicze szczyty ośmiotysięczne, nie byliśmy w stanie w pojałtańskiej rzeczywistości organizować choćby jednej wyprawy i zapisać się w tabeli pierwszych zdobywców ośmiotysięcznych kolosów.”
    If you can’t read Polish, I’ll translate that for you or find an English source, you name it.

  11. guest says:

    You make an interesting but clearly absurd point. As Greece can have her national discipline (weightlifting, you say), Poland should have 3-4 national disciplines, given the population.

    no ,no it does not work like that. This is not mathematics.

  12. darthsida says:

    What about Japan and Brasil? They’re bigger than Poland and have national disciplines.

    So, actually, it is much about mathematics: you calculate probabilities:
    You can expect more natural-born sports stars in a population that’s big than in any smaller population. These probabilities don’t count in a system where good coaching matters. When you have a good coach, you can become a training-made champ in most densely populated places on the planet as well as on an island that’s inhabited just by you and your coach.

  13. guest says:

    and of course money MAY (“Może dlatego”) be the reason why Poles started climbing in winter ,but it does not make their achievements smaller.

    Money was the reason why ethiopian run 10 kilometers ,cold climate is the reason why canadians are good ice hockey players ,copa cabana is the reason why brasilians are good beach volleyball players and so on…

    Does it make their achievements less important ?

  14. darthsida says:

    1. Money

    Let me quote: “sports is about money and doping. If you do not have it, you have no chance.” So, OK, money matters in Himmalaya climbing (and we can read how). But money and dope don’t matter in sports that can go without money or dope. Judo, again. National in Japan, not in Poland. Any guesses why? I’ve suggested the issue of proper coaching.

    2. Resources

    And what’s the reason a Pole was a walking champ? Not, say, Romanian? — Yes, you need ice for an ice hockey team. But if that’s the decisive thing, then the Czech Republic must have stolen loads of ice from Poland while we’re not watching.

    3. Importance of achievements

    Did you see my “will all due respect for the efforts” above? I’ll say nothing to ridicule the achievements or diminish the facts. To that end, I’d have to read about Reinhold Messner before I’d read about Kukuczka.

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