Poland’s new government to finalise deal with Madagascar and gain a colony

Placement of Polish Region in Madagascar Polish ties with Madagascar go back decades. In the colonial era Poland had sent a mission to Madagascar, with which Polish settlement in Madagascar’s East coast started. They were welcomed by the local inhabitants, as they developed medical and educational institutions, and brought the then-modern solutions in agriculture. Later came the partitions of Poland, when Madagascar plans were abandoned, and the prospective colony was overtaken by France. Polish settlers have stayed in Madagascar, however, and Polish minority today is the second largest minority in after the French. During communist period Polish community in Madagascar supported the Polish mainland with tropical fruits – a fact that is still remembered in Poland.

Appointment of John Jadczak as the Finance Minister in the government of Charles Rabemananjara currently ruling the Republic of Madagascar, started a new era in Polish-Madagascar relations.

Madagascar government, seeking investment and better opportunities for its citizens, negotiated a contract with the government of Poland. According to the deal, Poland will support the development of higher education institutions in Madagascar with an academic exchange programme. Poland will also launch several new courses at the local university, build five new hospitals and provide medical consultants and medical staff, who will train local medicine students. Polish engineers will construct sewer net in Antananarivo, the capital of The Republic of Madagascar, and 8 other major cities. Polish companies will invest 5 billion euro in Madagascar’s chemical, agricultural and banking industries. In return, Poland will lease a strip of Madagascar’s East coast for 100 years. Nowy Sopot, the proposed capital of the region, that will now become part of Poland, is the largest Polish settlement with over 50.000 Polish inhabitants. Autonomous Region of East Madagascar will not be part of The EU nor of the Schengen Agreement. It will become a tax haven, as Poland’s Finance Minister Jacek Rostowski proposed to cancel VAT and CIT.

Marek Belka, former prime minister of Poland is said to become the first governor of the region. He will be responsible for developing the tourist industry which is planned to bring most of the region’s income. Mr Belka, who negotiated deals with major European travel companies and hotel chains, hopes Madagascar to become the next Ibiza.

Donald Tusk, the prime minister of Poland said today: “We are proud of this scheme, this is our way of aiding the communities of Africa. We aren’t the richest nation, but this is how both our nations can profit from our cooperation. We hope to be an example to other EU member states.

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Update, April the 2nd:

PRIMA APRILIS! The news above is of course absolutely fake :) Each year on April’s Fools Day (April the 1st) newspapers and television news shows in Poland produce fake information to trick their readers/viewers – and Polandian had to follow this fine tradition :)

No mission was ever sent to colonise Madagascar, there was no Polish settlement in Madagascar, and therefore there isn’t any significant Polish minority. There isn’t anyone named John Jadczak in Madagascar’s government. And finally no such deal as described was ever planned, it is totally fictional. Donald Tusk never said the things I quote. The map produced here shows only my own alterations to the map of Madagascar.

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9 thoughts on “Poland’s new government to finalise deal with Madagascar and gain a colony

  1. scatts says:

    You don’t fule me!! :)

  2. darthsida says:

    Hunt the Gowk! Hunt the Gowk! :D

    But seriously. The Polish mission to Madagascar was a fact. Anyone more interested — in the “Madagascar Plan” to resettle Jews from Poland there — see this place or that place.

    The plan failed: France / Britain did not want to share a tiny bit of their colonial loot and imperial spoils with Poland. (Thieves are not likely to admit another to join the company.) So, then there came Germany and re-settled Jews, only not to Africa. I wonder whether there is any parallel-history SF story, in which France / Britain are less greedy, Poland is persistent with its Jews relocation programme and Holocaust never happens as it did?

  3. island1 says:

    Pawel: Nice try, pretty convincing :)

    Darth: Surely this is just a continuation of the joke! “share a tiny bit of their colonial loot and imperial spoils with Poland” – surely you jest?

  4. darthsida says:

    Island, in case of Madagascar, the accent thus naturally falling heavier on France than on Britain, fun was not intended, not much, but in a jesture of good will — will I stand between you and your sense of humour? nope, i remove myself.

  5. mochafueled says:

    Nice try… I was wondering if Poland ever had any ocean going ships that would sail as far as Madagascar…. let alone colonize an island… second thought was 50K Poles living on an underdeveloped miserable island… probably just like home but with year long heat….

    enjoyed the write up… made for good fun fiction.

  6. Richardlith says:

    Nothing compared to the story of the Latvian colony in the Caribbean (no wait, that’s real, not it’s not….)

  7. darthsida says:

    => Richard
    Why Latvian? Kettler’s Courland was vassalised by the Polish-Lithuanian Commonweal. My vassal’s colonies are my colonies, says the saying :)

  8. Raf Uzar says:

    I’ve just seen this. Wonderful stuff!

  9. i need to find the capital of madagascar’s government

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