Wales (0) 0 Poland (0) 1

A Dutchman and a Brazilian celebrate Poland’s friendly win against Wales???

The match was played in the back garden of Leo’s holiday cottage in the Algarve using jumpers for goalposts. Billed as the “Borer in Vilamora”, the game had so much potential for riveting entertainment that a whole 300 people turned up to watch. We’re told that many sheep were lost that evening while the shepherds temporarily neglected their duties (leaving the door wide open for the sheep-worrying Welsh fans). Service was also reported to be slow in the local restaurant thanks to the temporary absence of waiting staff.


LEO – “Roger – I LOVE you!!” (followed by a lot of that gutteral spitting stuff that the Dutch do so well)
ROGER – “I love you too, Beenhakker!!”
LEO – “Roger, what’s with the Polish shirt?” (followed by more of that gutteral spitting stuff that the Dutch do so well)
ROGER – “What Polish shirt? This is the Brazilian 5th reserve side. Isn’t it?”

POLSKA – Biało-czerwoni!!!

Meeeeeenwhile, in Seville, England were getting their backsides whooped 2-0 by Spain.

“I am happy because I learned a lot – I spoke to the players and we know what we must do. It was very difficult but we knew it would be because Spain are one of the best teams in the world right now. It’s important to know where we are, what level we are at and what we have to do in order to get better.”

So said Gucci Capelluci, the England coach. Yes, you learned just how CRAP the England team is when it’s playing a proper football team and not Azerbaijan, Borneo or Tasmania!

Where you are – A long way from where you need to be
What level you’re at – A low one, some might say very low, even embarrassingly low, so low that an expert limbo dancer would say “Woah! That’s really low!”
What you have to do to get better – Not telling. That’s why you’re all paid millions a year, you should know this stuff.

Don’t you just lurv football.

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20 thoughts on “Wales (0) 0 Poland (0) 1

  1. MaterialGirl says:

    Biało-czerwoni plural

    Biało-czerwony singular

  2. scatts says:

    Don’t know what you’re talking about! :-)

  3. FK says:

    Wales 0 – Poland 0. Wales 0 – Brazil 1. Such a shame to bring in mercenaries: it’s supposed to be a national team not citizen team.

  4. MaterialGirl says:

    Good trick Scatts! :D

  5. Jacek Wesołowski says:

    *sigh* I wish we could put the whole “national” thing to bed already.

  6. Boguslaw says:


    What is your problem anyway?

  7. Pioro-Boncza says:

    well in my mind national and citizen is the same thing…unless you still follow some sort of outdated idea of blood and culture (google: Germany late 1930s — and see where that got them) but in the case of Roger he is kind of a merc. its not like his family moved from Brazil to Poland in search of a better life and he just happened to become the product of our strong, well-funded, national football program..

  8. Boguslaw says:


    Have you guys heard about Jose Maria Rokita and his “german trip”? ;)
    Me thinks he deserves definitely a nice separate blog entry.

  9. scatts says:

    Tell me more about Rokita, Bogusław.

  10. Boguslaw says:

    Check this out:,1585819,0,1,nagranie-rokity-w-samolocie-ratujcie-mnie,wiadomosc.html

    Do you know what “warchoł” means? It is very good word to describe Rokita’s behavior. His arrogance and pompousness was well known, and in fact he was bound to make a pathetic fool of himself some day. Starting a quarrel in an airplane and then after local police intervene, blaming everything on evil Germans and playing “as always innocent” polish victim is not only tedious but first of all typical for such people like him. Needless to say, that the guy could have become polish prime minister.

  11. MaterialGirl says:


    why Spanish Jose=Józef=Joseph?

    Rokita is Jan!

  12. Boguslaw says:


    thanks MG, i was sure that there was a parallel between Jose Maria and Jan Maria.

  13. […] [Comments for Polandian] Comment on Wales (0) 0 Poland (0) 1 by Boguslaw […]

  14. Pioro-Boncza says:

    I like their fancy hats!

  15. Phlojd Katzenjammer says:

    Even if Poland had half a dozen Brazilians, the national football team would still suck as long as Bak is captain (or even playing for that matter).

  16. MaterialGirl says:

    I just want to add that I’m always impressed by English fans of football.
    They are typical contemporary english gentelmen.
    They speak with standard english phlegm/coolness.
    They keep a tight rein on their emotions.
    They are charming and very composed and self-possessed.
    Usually they have smooth and short combed hair and look spruce.
    They drink with tiny sips and in the very elegant manner golden and divine drink beer.
    Some of them carry with themselves a banner with their old, traditional and such a chivalrous battle-cry:
    “When you are not fan of Manc, you are a wank!”.
    What (in translation from the Oxford English into common english) means:
    If you don’t have a clean mantle, you will not allowed to entrance to our Lions’ Club”.

  17. Mal says:

    As a Tasmanian currently living in Poland, I am overjoyed to see a mention of my illustrious state included on what must be the premier Blog for foreigners living in Poland.

    I would like to say that I didn’t know that Tassie had a football team, so I am very grateful that you have lifted it from being non-existent to ‘non-proper.’ (I don’t know what that says about the English side though…)


  18. Jacek Wesołowski says:

    What do people play in Tasmania when they’re not playing football?

  19. FK says:

    This is how I understand the idea of Polish national football team: it is about representing Polish nation in football and competing with other nations thus providing fellow people with all sorts of emotions, pride and joy being most wanted. That’s why I only want to be rooting for NT players who are Polish, players I share ethnicity, culture etc. with. These are the footballers I want to cheer, cry with or bitch about when they’re not up to task. It’s not about players (no matter their sports class) who happened to come here, get paid here, pay their tax here and got talked into Polish NT. No mercenary allowed, sorry, it’s different from club competition.
    Yes, it is very important for Polish NT (well, each NT for that matter) to be successful and achieve certain objectives. However, there are measures taken to succeed that cannot be justified, one of them being player naturalisation (to some extent, allowed by FIFA; that’s why some people say „others do that, so can we”, or „FIFA allows it, why not embrace it”) – that’s my opinion. Such practice seems unfair and unacceptable to me, a Polish NT supporter.
    Now, Roger, he’s a Brazilian born and bred (nationality) and always will be, no matter what other passport he has been granted (citizenship), and as such should be playing for Brazil (same case with Nigerian Olisadebe before). Simple as that.

    Come on, it’s all matter of common sense, I think. How can we be pretending he’s Polish/Polish footballer?

    I wonder if we ever get to see such headline: „A Frenchman celebrates England’s win against X” (Channel Islanders Matt Le Tissier and Graeme Le Saux didn’t count, did they?).

  20. Piotr says:

    I am still struggling with Roger…
    I like that he is a good player, i like that he scores goals…
    But he isn’t Polish…

    However, if he is playing for Poland because he feels Polish and he is commited to play for Poland as a patriot and not because of money, then i am all for him playing for us…

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