It’s a question as old as time itself – or at least since the advent of indoor plumbing: Toilet seat up or down? The question seems innocuous itself, but is one that can rip a relationship apart (or develop into an episode of a sit-com, if you happen to have some cameras and canned laughter available).
We can all imagine the scene,
GIRL: “You left the toilet seat up again!”
GIRL: “I had to get up in the middle of the night to go and…”
GUY: “… you fell in? Again?!?”
GIRL: “Again! Why can’t you learn to put the seat down after you’ve used the toilet?”
GUY: “Why should I? I don’t need it down. If I leave it down you complain about the mess”
GIRL: “Ugh… sometimes guys can be detestable.”
Too often the ‘battle of the sexes’ result in men being from Mars and women from Venus, or so the books would tell us. But we actually have more in common than one might think. After much deliberation, there is a clear answer which can be implemented in which both genders will be equal. No, no, it’s not Japanese toilet robots who automatically drop the seat 30 seconds after a guy has left; instead it’s much simpler than that. (Mental note – some research needed on miniature Japanese robots.)
The solution to the toilet seat problem is one that would apply equality to both males and females. The answer is: If each person who finished using the toilet dropped both the toilet seat AND toilet cover, then the person coming after them would need to at least lift the cover – regardless of gender. However, there is a bit of a catch here. For this solution to work, people need to avoid the temptation to be lazy and should also be considerate of those who would come after them. Both are admirable qualities, but not always found at the same time.
So, there we have it – gender harmony restored, while hundreds of comedy writers in Hollywood are put out of work. Sounds like a sort of win-win… Next time on Polandian: we simultaneously solve world peace and global hunger, as long as the Japanese robots have not gotten there first again.