Tag Archives: marriage

Foreigners stealing away Poland's most precious assets – women

Look around, dear readers, and you will surely see a lot of marriages between Poles and Brits (or other English-speakers), but why is it always Polish women and foreign men, not the other way around? Notice our immediate company: All of my fellow Polandians; Scatts and Island1 (both English), Decoy (Irish), and Brad (American), are English-speaking foreign men married to Polish women, and I could name several other examples among our frequent commentators.

It makes sense that the majority of foreign men who decide to settle down in Poland do so because they have met the loves of their lives here, but the question is: who has ever heard of a Polish man married to an Anglo-Saxon female?

Intrigued by this sociological phenomenon I have attempted to come up with some plausible explanations:

Reasons why English-speaking men get hitched to Polish women:
1. The supply of female human beings other than Polish is rather limited in Poland, hence if they want to stay in Poland for good there’s no choice but to pick a Polish girl
2. Polish girls are famous for their remarkable beauty all over the world and women from other countries do not stack up against them in terms of gorgeousness.
3. Polish girls speak English to a reasonable level and are eager to keep on learning the language.
4. Polish women are open-minded and can provide English-language expats with fascinating insights into Polish culture, customs, traditions, and national oddities.

Reasons why Polish women fall in love with English-speaking men:
1. They find it exciting to enter into a relationship with somebody from a different country, maybe they even find these strange guys exotic.
2. If they finally tie the knot they have a new, foreign, exotic surname, that adds prestige and esteem among friends and colleagues.
3. Expats who come to Poland are usually highly-qualified (unlike male Poles who go to the UK to work as bus drivers), so they are potential resourceful and well-heeled breadwinners.
4. They want to raise bilingual children to give them a head start in a professional career in some twenty years.

Reasons why women from English-speaking countries do not fancy having a Polish boyfriend or husband:
1. They find male Poles rather dull and narrow-minded and do not bother to waste time hanging around with them.
2. If a relationship was to be formalised, their families would encounter a serious problem of pronouncing the resulting surname.
3. Polish boys insist on speaking Polish and are reluctant to switch to English, plus they will never learn how to pay compliments and express their feelings profusely in a foreign language.
4. Male Poles have quite strange ways of treating their women – they tend to be over-jealous, under-caring, and they never put the toilet seat down.

Reasons why Polish chaps do not even try to pick up English-speaking women:
1. There’s a cultural and a language barrier – “why should I get to know foreign customs and beliefs if I have my own one”, “I would have to speak English on a daily basis and learn it, it takes too much effort”.
2. They are afraid of being rebuffed – “why should she want to have a Polish boyfriend”.
3. If Polish girls are not as fastidious as English-speaking ones and are accustomed to different mating rituals…
4. Playing host to an English-speaking mother-in-law looms as the worst imaginable nightmare.

It goes without saying most of these observations are stereotypical and should be taken with a pinch of salt. Of course, and as my blogmates predicted, I have managed to insult everyone I mentioned in the post. English guys fall for attractive girls, Polish women are a bit mercenary, English women are picky and Polish boys are lazy and fearful boors. Maybe what I have said is full of distortions, but regardless of the real reasons intermarriage does only seem to work in one direction. Why?

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Feminism in Poland – A long way to go?


Polish women take care of their husbands just as much as they take care of their children.

I’m just about old enough to remember when ‘feminism’ wasn’t just a dirty word in the UK, it was an absurd word. In those days calling a woman a feminist was automatically funny and ridiculous, and calling a man a feminist was completely inconceivable. In those days ‘feminist’ was more-or-less a synonym for ‘lesbian’ and lesbianism was perhaps the most appalling of sexual crimes. The word has lost it’s power in the past 30 years and is rarely used these days with either positive or negative intentions. There’s no need; the fundamental battles have been won, in principle at least. Looking around me at Polish society I wonder if another 30 years will be enough to achieve the same result here.

Let me make it clear that I am not an expert on the philosophical underpinnings of the feminist movement but that I do generally think it is ‘a good thing.’ It seems to me that, so far, the sisters ain’t doing it for themselves in the land of the red and white flag. The situation as I see it is as follows:

Polish women are raised to believe that they are ‘special’
In practice this means they are raised to believe that they are more precious and lovely than their brothers, but that it’s ok for them to clean the house, cook the dinner, and do the shopping while said brothers sit around drinking beer and inheriting things. Sounds like a pretty poor exchange to me, but it’s a message that is driven home by family and church from a young age and it’s very hard for an individual woman to see through the scam.

Polish men are raised to believe that women are ‘special’
In practice this means they are raised to believe that women are weaker in mind and body than them but that it’s ok for them to do all manner of hard physical work around the house and cope with the massive mental stress of keeping a family together. It’s equally hard for the individual man to see through the scam when the society around him insists that women aren’t capable of opening doors or putting on coats on their own.

Will somebody please explain to me why Polish women are considered perfectly capable of using a mop for hours on end, but are not considered capable of opening doors or carrying shopping bags?

Will somebody also please explain to me why anybody has the right to make women feel guilty about their sexuality while male sexuality is openly praised as a good and healthy thing (as long as it’s straight of course)?

Let me leave you with another quote from the truly scary polishmarriage.org

Polish girls are not as liberated and modern as western women and they take their commitments very seriously.

This is the picture that accompanies these words. Clearly they also like to walk around with their tops off and jeans undone while ‘taking their commitments very seriously.’


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