Topless women soften Polish court

In a move widely expected to hasten the end of civilization two women have been acquitted of indecent exposure after they were found sunbathing topless on a Polish beach in May 2008. On Wednesday a Szczecin court overturned the 130 zloty fines that it had firmly, but playfully, slapped on the two naughty lasses in November.

Dorota Krzysztofek and her pixelated friend presenting some formidable points to the court.
(Photo credit: bas/AFP/Getty Images)

Officer X, who made the arrest, told the court “Myself and Officer Y made careful long-distance observations of the accused over a period of several hours and can confirm that they quite clearly had their gazongas out.” When asked what had brought him to the beach that day the officer replied “Well, it was my turn with the binoculars.”

The two women who, for legal reasons, can only be referred to as ‘the blonde one’ and ‘the other one’ made tearful statements to the assembled media during an impromptu 3-hour photo session outside the court. “I’m just happy it’s all over” sobbed 28-year-old Dorota Krzysztofek (the Blonde One, ed.), “now I can get back to a normal life getting my hooters out in magazines.”

A spokesperson for Topfreedom, an international chestpuppy liberation movement, in Poland to lend her support to the women told journalists “This is a proud day for the women of Poland and their jumper dumplings. Now there is nothing to stop the womanhood of this nation swinging freely in the breeze.” Her words were greeted by hearty cheers from onlookers, followed by the sound of several dozen umbrellas repeatedly impacting skulls.

A Mrs. Mary Magdelana Woebetide, of the Campaign for Family Purity, slammed the court in a press release: “These two hussies should be ashamed of themselves. In a civilized country they would have been birched and paraded through the streets with their heads shaved. It’s time our so called politicians looked to God-fearing countries like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan for a lead.”

Szczecin is approximately 280 miles northwest of Warsaw and is served by regular train services in the summer. It has a population of 407,000, about 45,000 of whom are quite fit.


27 thoughts on “Topless women soften Polish court

  1. basia says:

    You are hilarious. I spit out my tea twice.

  2. Bob says:

    I expected more from you – like exclusive rights to the photos before Playboy gets them – cuties they are. Very nice looking women

  3. Pioro-Boncza says:

    the girl on the left aka ‘the other one’ should get one of those hi-res eye implants since clearly her eyes are still using an outdated resolution. perhaps she only needs to refresh…

  4. DC says:

    Hmmm…gazongas, hooters, chestpuppies, womanhood. How long can he go on?

  5. island1 says:

    Bob: Down boy! Ms. Krzysztofek has already been snapped up by various magazines and I certainly wouldn’t recommend image googling her name on a family blog such as this.

    Pioro: It’s part of the pretty woman’s code: always hang around with friends who have pixelated eyes – it makes yours look better.

    DC: You forgot ‘jumper dumplings’, which I was particularly proud of since it was my own invention. Actually ‘proud’ might be the wrong word there…

    Phlojd: “the state of Texas has limits on the amount of silicone that can be injected into breast implants,” :D

  6. DC says:

    Just wanted to give you another opportunity to highlight your obse… I mean creativity.

  7. MaterialGirl says:

    Gather a few guys around the picture of the quite well-read girl, they start talk about TITS! :D

    P.S. She needn’t implants. Well patterned blouse is making breast bigger.
    I’m always attacked much more f.e. in winter when I’m more dressed. This confirms very old bees’ proverb, that “man isn’t a dog, he will not be hungry (fly in original bees language) for the bones”. :D

  8. phlojd k-jammer says:

    I wonder what Bishop Williamson of the SSPX might have to say about these ladies with their big cyc.

    This is what he has to say about Canadian (and all women):

    “Canadians strike me as a gentle people; but “strike” is the word! Ten yeas ago I was innocently asked in Canada whether women should wear trousers. Some ten weeks ago, also in Canada, I was asked whether a girl should go to a conservative Novus Ordo university. The answer now to the second question may be as stormy as the answer to the first:- because of all kinds of natural reasons, almost no girl should go to any university!”

    What a guy! Read even more (yes, it gets even wilder!):

  9. Guest says:

    I thought only German pensioners do nude sunbathing on the Baltic coast.

  10. MaterialGirl says:


    call for picture (I hope you will like) to Scatts.

  11. scatts says:

    Island – thanks for the tip on the image Google! ;)

    MG – I already sent and DC received.

    Guest – yeah, those German pictures were nasty!

  12. MaterialGirl says:



  13. dom says:

    i won’t believe until i see the footage! (from the beach of course)

  14. Margot says:

    What you don’t know is that Szczecin is famous for it’s girls – plastic babes, with huge hooters, deeply tanned complexion and nice asses, usually wearing high heels, listening to crappy techno music and dressing in pink :D I don’t know where you took this 45000 from, but it does not seem accurate.

    That was from me, a girl from Szczecin who never looked like one of those dolls ;)

  15. island1 says:

    Margot: :D Sounds like Szczecin is the Ibiza of Poland – what a frightening thought.

  16. Bob says:

    I heard they are coming to meet with us Saturday – at least that is the bait scatts has been trolling with to build attendance

  17. island1 says:

    Afraid not, but myself and Scatts will be performing a brief topless cabaret before the cheese course.

  18. Bob says:

    I suspect that will be the cheese course!

  19. scatts says:

    No, that would be the foot-puppet show!

  20. pinolona says:

    Oops unfortunately I suddenly lost my train ticket.

  21. […] [Comments for Polandian] Comment on Topless women soften Polish court by pinolona […]

  22. Phlojd Katzenjammer says:

    Final (?) score:

    Barenaked Ladies Boobs 23 — Vatican Boobs 109 ! ! !

  23. MaterialGirl says:

    I’m a BarbieGirl in a Barbie world, like a plastic it’s fantastic! You can brush my hair and dress me anywhere, imagination that is your creation!

    That was singing I (Jarząbek ;-)))


  24. Pawel says:

    OMG! LOL:>>

    Polish women have been sunbathing topless since I remember:) And I’ve been vacationing at the Baltic coast almost every summer… (Sopot mostly tho)
    Nothing out of the normal about Szczecin island1;)

  25. island1 says:

    Pawel: I’ve certainly observed the occasional public Polish mammary, and not just at beaches – in parks too. I assume the entire case was a publicity stunt to boost Ms. Krzysztofek’s modeling career.

  26. island1 says:

    Damn, somehow I forgot to thank Basia for her kind praise. Thanks Basia, glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for more opportunities to waste perfectly good tea.

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