Errr… Just popped over here, noticed the last post went off six days ago and got my act together to stave off an impending week-long break in posting. I do not know whether the task was really challenging, since as every student during his exam period I am intently looking out for opportunities to indulge in self-delusion, or, in plain English I am trying to dabble in something that can dissuade me from learning for a while.
One of the websites popular among Polish students is Demotywatory.pl, containing miscellany of pictures aimed at… well… they are said to “(de)motivate” people. My real interest in the service was spurred by my fellow Polandian’s involuntary appearance there…
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201009/1284476615_by_gago08_500.jpg
Demotywatory.pl is to a large extent run by youngsters, hence one of the topics that crop up there frequently are parties. And because it is carnival, time of partying (for those who are not overwhelmed by exam period), it occured to me I should familiarise you with some of the most popular pictures from the website, which also depict some Polish party customs, mock at idiosyncracies, ridicule unwritten rules or generally present people captured in embarassing situations.
1. Rule number two (rule number one is for sure “attend parties thrown at home, but don’t throw them”) – do not close your eyes before you go to your own bed.
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201011/1290274897_by_Tom_500.jpg
Bringing along a small horse and keeping it on a lead is not extremely popular, but drunk animals might incur some measurable losses…
2. Family party
http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201009/1284046719_by_Vic3k_500.jpg
As a matter of prinicple held before it gets dark so that all guest can stagger home safely. Outfits are casual, the most frequent topics are: politics, family affairs, politics and family affairs. If you run out of contentious issues in politics or family affairs you can always try backbiting your neighbours or anyone else who is not around. Children do not like those parties because they are not allowed to drink, grown-ups bend over backwards to slip away from the house to avert hearing questions such as “when will you finally get married?”.
3. There is a cross, there is a party
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201008/1280938872_by_bushec_500.jpg
A relatively new pastime activity in August 2010.
Venue: Warsaw, Krakowskie Przedmieście, outside the presidential palace
Target group: *head covering description missing*
Set-up: Clasping hands, singing patriotic songs and dancing around the cross.
There’s a heavy cross to bear…
4. The reason why the lights are off…
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201007/1279323113_by_jurexplay_500.jpg
I do not know if tweaking with the photo in Photoshop would help, but pics similar to the one above are not rare on fejsbuk or nasza klasa (if you use the former you probably vote for PO, if the latter – for PiS). If you happen you photograph that badly you probably do not take trouble to go to the polls at all…
5. Geek party
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201003/1270134753_by_starcu_500.jpg
Essential equipment: portable computers, (at least one per participant), connected to the Internet, if possible all within one local network (capacity 100 Mbps).
Unwatned guests: human beings of the opposite sex.
The worst scenario: Internet provider breakdown.
No, they’re not going to watch “18+” films.
6. “How was the party?” – the nightmare materialises
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/1263921247_by_Saszlyk_500.jpg
Tacky wallpaper – 15 PLN per square metre
Bottle of juice – 3.49 PLN
Seeing the face pulled by the hapless boy – priceless…
7. Outdoor bender
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201003/1269609117_by_dziunia00900_500.jpg
Time: morning rush hours, when normal people are stuck in traffic jams on their way to work, daylight necessary
Venue: who cares
Company: at 6 a.m. look out for two pissheads hanging around outside your cornershop, then offer them food (cucumbers in a jar) and drinks (a bottle of plonk) on the house. They’ll keep you company until they get really hammered…
Budget: approximately 10 PLN, risk of overrunning: low
Prerequisite skills: “strong head”, whatever it means…
8. Old-school party
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201003/1268494509_by_Jerem92_500.jpg
Photo surely dug up from archives. Should I have rummaged through mine?
Venue: school canteen, somewhere in Poland
Props: cult objects from early 1990s: spectacles, jumpers, tablecloth, mugs. Those guys are now probably in their early or mid thirties, I don’t recognise any scholars from my university…
Atmosphere: generally conducive to intellectual debates. No alcohol permitted.
9. School party
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/1261466799_by_bulateam89_500.jpg
Venue: primary (podstawówka) or secondary (gimnazjum) school
Start time: Friday 17:00
End time: Friday 20:00
Unless a local priest forbids…
Course of events:
17:00 Participants gather round
17:15 Boys call a committee to investigate strength of surrounding wallls
17:30 Girls and boys and lean against walls to prevent them from pulling down
18:30 Participants cluster together to work out a strategy
19:00 Slow dancing begins
19:45 The party hots up.
20:00 Despite hue and cry the party is scattered to four winds…
Brings back memories from childhood. People grow up but times are not changing in this respect. Today I would get a slap on my face for what was acceptable when I was ten years younger…
10. Polish wake
source: http://statichg.demotywatory.pl/uploads/201007/1278609690_by_kawior9012_500.jpg
As the description says, a regular party, just one player is missing. This is why I do not attend wakes. I know it can be a good custom, but too often it turns into a booze-up and guests begin to drink to the deceased’s health.
Enjoy yourselves in 2011! All the best from Polandians!
POLANDiAN 
