When I started writing here, I had the prevision that national differences described on these blogpages would be major. I would assume Brits and Poles were different much more than La Manche is different from the English Channel. Getting older however, I started to see that the differences would grow smaller, smaller, small, the Pulp Fiction-scale, you know:
– But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
– It’s the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they’re a little different.
And Polish people are beautiful – and so are Polish people in London.
And Brits could have a chuckle at Polish Jodie Foster – and Poles could stay English-wise cool.
And Brits could have a laugh at Polish road signs – and so could Poles.
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Then I followed the pernicious temptation to get our search machine sussed out. And I saw that many an odd thing had happened to this blog:
= Czechs got more mentions than the Dutch.
= And the Dutch more than the Beatles.
= Cricket was discussed more vehemently than soccer (aka European football).
= Though croquet has not been mentioned.
= “Cricket” is also the first post to pop up after you type “Polish girls” into our search engine.
= For (singular) “Polish girl”, the top find is “Public drinking – why not?”. (Eh?)
If you were politically-hinged enough to search for, say, “PIS”, you’d be referred to the same “Public drinking – why not?”.
In fact, “Public drinking – why not” is a catholic answer to many queries concerning the ultimate issues, our search engine reckons. Try LONDON. Or LONDONERS. Try LOVE. Or HATE. (No results for INDIFFERENCE though. Good. One may say some of our posts can make you drink (and “why not”?) but at least we are not lukewarm.) [Speaking of Luke. Look for “Star Wars” and get “The Warsaw Ghetto (Part 1)”. Disturbing, a bittle.]
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And what would our poison be?
VODKA is findable but…WÓDKA or WODKA – no results!
Perhaps Poland was converted to GIN? Look for GIN and find “How not to Take a Polish Passport Photo” — or the “Polish Is Hard”.
WHISKY route is to “Polish Artists You Hate You Couldn’t Love”.
TEA, anyone? — The answer: “Polish is Hard”.
MILK? — Not found.
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What about standard Polish associations?
= POPE? — Read “The Sun Hire Polish Journalists”.
= SOLIDARNOSC? — Read “A Guide to Songs About Poland”.
= WALESA? — Zero results.
= CATHOLIC gives a bunch, the first hit about singing, the second about hypocrisy, the third about money, the fourth about flags, the fifth about “why Polish people don’t smile”.
Ask ANSWER TO LIFE — and see: “Poland, Racism, and Immigration”.
Ask 42 — and be directed to “How not to Take a Polish Passport Photo”
Though this be madness, yet there is no method in it. (No method except for the one with getting this very post published to become the new top find for all the aforementioned searches.)
Doda, so high-ranking in our keyword stats, has been discussed less fervently than Polish drivers.
Can you dig it? I cannot. That is why, next post of mine, I’ll follow the mad and write more about Polish drivers.
I can make no sense in private either.